The FlyLady: To Resolve or Not to Resolve
To Resolve or Not to Resolve
None of us like change in any form or fashion! Every New Year's Eve we are faced with that proverbial issue: To resolve or not to resolve! The dictionary defines resolve with "to make up your mind" and "to do something". This means that in order to make up our minds we have to change what we have been doing to do something different. Change is so hard for us!
We like the ruts we have made for ourselves. They are comfortable! They fit us like good old pair of shoes! We don't want anyone to declutter our old shoes! The rule is that you can only declutter your own items. You cannot force someone else to declutter their things. Making a New Year's Resolution is a very personal decluttering process.
We have to evaluate what is not working and try to come up with a solution. Re-solution...Could that be that we have made the same decision to make the change before. On Year's Day of 1999, I made my last New Year's Resolution and it was one I had made many times. My lack of organization was hurting me. I had problems finding things and keeping our home clean. I wanted to feel better about me and the way our home looked. I resolved to "Get Organized!"
I sat down on New Year's Day and tried to figure out why I could not keep house. I soon realized that I was not lazy but I didn't have routines for my home or for me! The only time I had ever keep my home clean was when I was using Pam Young and Peggy Jones card file system from their book The Sidetracked Home Executives. They had a card for everything to do in your home; daily, weekly, monthly and seasonal maintenance. They also had cards for personal maintenance.
That day I pulled my card file which was hidden under my kitchen counter and began to sort through my five hundred cards; after all out of sight out of mind. No wonder it never helped me for very long. I would begin to feel guilty when I would see the file unused and stuck it away! That is when I realized that I was pushing myself too hard. Change is tough enough in itself but to pile on and set yourself up for failure by trying to be perfect was not nice. That is when I made a second resolution. To be kind to myself!
My realization that day was my perfectionism was getting in the way of my decision to make a change in my life! This is probably why when we make a mistake and miss a day of our New Resolution; we give up! We chunk it out the window, beat ourselves up and get back in our ruts.
Only you can make a resolution! Only you can decide to make the change, because if a resolution is forced on you then it is not yours. Think about it this way! A wise man told me this a few days ago. If an alcoholic is forced into rehab, they will not stay sober. We all have our own drugs of choice and they keep us stuck in our ruts. You can make the decision to change if that is what you want! My blessing for you in this New Year is for you to find the Peace that I have found! This Peace came because I took babysteps to make simple changes in my life. Those habits became my routines and those routines filled my life with a calm that allowed me to become who I am today! As part of my journey I saw perfectionism as the saboteur and eliminated that stinkin' thinkin' one thought at a time!
The clutter we really need to fling is the clutter that is in our heads. I like to call it Body Clutter! I even co-authored a book by the same name that helps you to take those babysteps to make our resolutions became lasting life changes! Isn't that what making New Year's Resolutions is all about! Any day can be your New Year's Day if you make your mind up to do it!
For more information check out www.FlyLady.net Copyright 2008 Marla Cilley. Used by permission in this publication.