Family Affair: A Good Thing About Anger

Family Affair
A Good Thing About Anger

In the normal daily routine, we all get angry sometime. Teens anger parents and vice versa. Siblings know just how to pluck the string of one another's "last nerve." And while it's easy to say things in anger that you don't mean deep within, anger can also trigger discussions that increase understanding. What could you do?
Take a minute to write a list of words and expressions that describe your feelings when you're angry:
* annoyed
* irritated
* upset
* irked
* ticked off
If your list is as short as mine, think of "that" person. Your list will rapidly grow. That's a good thing. Think of the terms for anger that person uses, and you'll not only have an impressively long list, you will be rolling toward understanding their feelings-also a good thing.
Now slowly apply each word-including their words-to yourself. Really get into the feeling: I feel ticked off. I feel irritated. I feel annoyed. Etc.
And if you're toying with a specific incident that you've been squeezing out of your memory, you could:
1. Control your passion.
2. List the facts.
3. Trash the blaming dialogue.
4. Delete all judgments
5. Write what you said, meant, wished you had said, and will say the next time.
Anne Wilson Schaef claims-and it seems reasonable to me: "Awareness is the key. When I know what I am doing. I have the option to change."
When you're ready for anger, you can make it a good thing.

Faith Johnson Crumbly is a writer and motivational speaker for Essential Pieces Communication Strategies,