Life by Design: The Value of Negative Emotions

Life by Design
The Value of Negative Emotions

I'm so negative all the time - it is amazing but nothing ever seems to be good enough, go right, or make me happy. What's up with me? Why do I constantly hone in on the negative - and how can I stop it?
I believe that the most important thing in the world is that you feel good. When you feel good, you are most likely to experience your greatest growth and evolutionary change.
But all of us are negative sometimes - and negative emotions do have value.
Negative emotions have well understood evolutionary value. Negative emotions such as fear, loss, and aggression signal the activation of our flight or fight response. When we experience negative emotions, we have a feeling of aversion, which sets us on course to identify what is wrong and eliminate it. Negative emotions and thoughts are associated with a survival alert that activates a reaction to fight, flight, or conserve - each reaction with obvious evolutionary value.
The problem comes when we get stuck in being negative and everything seems to be wrong. What do you do then? Leverage the evolutionary value of the negative - find out what is prompting those negative responses and go to work changing it.
What this means is that when you are experiencing something negative it is prompting you to get rid of what is not working in your life and connect with what you really want in your life.
If you hate your job, that negative experience is what summons from you your desire - your dream - for the kind of job you really want.
If you are in a "bad" relationship, it prompts you to identify your desire and dream to have an intimate, loving, and kind relationship.
Experiencing the negative, seeing the negative, identifying the negative - acts like a wake-up call for you to embrace your dreams and desires. And bringing forth your dreams and desires in the world is what pulls you forward in your evolutionary growth and development - and it is what makes you happy.
Negative emotions become troublesome when you spend all of your time there. When something negative happens there is a temptation to embellish the event and tell your sad and sorry story to anyone who will listen - even if you are just telling it to your self over and over again. We can easily get stuck in the negative and feel compelled to grind it into reality.
When you are experiencing a negative experience the trick is to quickly identify what desire or dream it is conflicting with - get the message you are sending to yourself about what it is that you really want and move on. Figure out the dream or desire that is calling to you and put your attention there.
Now then, isn't that a more creative, resourceful, fun, and useful way to handle anything negative that is in your life?

Mary Ann Copson is Life Coach who specializes in helping her clients better manage their moods and energy. She is the founder of the Evenstar Mood & Energy Wellness Center for Women. You can visit her online at or reach her by phone at 434-263-4996.