Daze of My Life: Living on the Edge

Daze of My Life
Living on the Edge

Given the shaving fact that some brands of non-electric razors now available for sale feature as many as five blades clustered together, for optimum comfort and closeness of course, and presently I am still using a razor with only two blades - though my razors do have a swivel head and a "comfort strip," I can't help wondering, have I been nicking and napkining my face unnecessarily?
Would three more blades in-hand, whether battery-charged or not, nearly two and one half times the scraping area of my present pair, have indeed made a difference in my morning preparation? Would the extra blades have saved valuable time, i.e., needing fewer strokes to eliminate a 24-hour stubble and thus hasten my a.m. departure? And most importantly, would five blades, compared to two, have caused less bleeding and in turn less dabbing as well, thereby preventing, upon my arrival at work, the inevitable comments from co-workers: "Kenny, did you cut yourself shaving?" And then having to endure their snickering, embarrassed once again, by the failure of my own right hand.
I realize I am not contemplating any earth-shattering notions here but, as consumers, and more specifically as a man who watches his disproportionate share of sports, I am exposed, subjected, bombarded you might say, to an awful lot of male-oriented marketing and promoting. And though shaving is not exclusive to men, nevertheless, it is featured quite frequently on broadcasts that typically attract a predominantly male audience. Moreover, since preventing hair loss or correcting a dysfunction, two more regularly advertised conditions with which the male population has to consider, are not my problems, yet, I pay less attention to their content and more to the shaving advertisements, which definitely effect my life, everyday, sometimes maybe even twice a day, especially if certain opportunities present themselves.
And shaving remains of particular importance because I have never, ever, grown a beard or a mustache, which if the old adage is true means my face/beard has not toughened up as a result. And so, when metal hits skin, however moisturized my face or lubricated my shaving gel is, blood seems to be the most common denominator. And though using an electric razor would likely eliminate most of the bleeding (certainly it would reduce the potential for bleeding), in my experience, I have found that electric razors are not quite up to the challenge of closely shaving this old face. Thus, it's always been a blade or two for me, or possibly five now as the new Gillette Fusion appears to promote.
And though five blades scraping the same epidermis seems like it would cause as much if not more bleeding than my two blades now do, I'm going to assume that my face will be no worse for the wear and tear, and maybe even better off for the research and development that created this quantum leap in razor design.
I'm ready for a change. I just hope my face can handle it.

Kenneth B. Lourie is a regionally syndicated columnist who resides in Burtonsville, MD.