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Movies From the Black Lagoon: Dead Snow
Movies From the Black Lagoon
Dead Snow - 2009, Unrated
By Tom Doty
Nazi zombies menace Norwegian med-students in this gory entry into undead flicks.
The film opens with a crackerjack sequence. A young woman is running for her life in the woods. Her progress is slowed by thick drifts of snow, pitch darkness, and the annoying habit of slowing down to look back at her pursuers. She doesn't make it.
The next day we drop in on two car loads of college students who are spending their Easter break at a remote cabin. If you're watching the dubbed version then they appear to be in an American film as the conversation is all about the weekend's potential for getting loaded and/or a romantic interlude.
The group soon finds out two important things. 1.A female member of their party, who was to arrive on her own, has not shown up. 2. It's fun to go snow tubing as it takes your mind off your missing friend (the young lady from the opening scene). Things get interesting when a local moocher shows up for some free beer. He turns into the thing that wouldn't leave. He drones on and on about the chilling history of the area.
During the war the area was controlled by a platoon of Nazis. A nasty sort named Colonel Herzog led them. He saw that Germany was going to lose the war so he opted to abandon the post after having his men sack the town. The villagers, however, were not at home to the idea of being kicked around by the losing side and retaliated by staging an attack on the platoon that left every Nazi under twelve feet of snow.
The med students finally evict their boring guest in time to discover Nazi treasure under the cabin. They decide to divide the loot in order to pay their tuition and it's a sign of our trouble financial times that no one really argues that they're stealing. The Nazi zombies weigh in on the matter too by commencing to attack the cabin. This leads to a short homage to "Night of the Living Dead" as the students try to keep them out. Pretty soon they realize it's smarter to run.
It sure was smarter to run but it is never a good idea to split up and they promptly feed themselves to the zombies in small manageable groups. What follows are plenty of intense fight scenes that never fail to pile on the gore. All manner of weapons get employed and the snow is soon a bright shade of red as these zombies turn out to be juicier than a Mango Smoothie.
This one feels like you've seen it before but that's intentional as the film makers have obviously seen every 80's horror movie and include nods to everything from "The Evil Dead" to Peter Jackson's "Dead Alive. They also know that every scene needs to be bigger than the last so the deaths get more elaborate as they go on. They keep adding to the gore quotient and upping the energy until the film feels like a "Loony Tunes" gone berserk. This one's a lot of fun. Not entirely original but very well executed. Horror geeks will love it as the film champions the nerd. Here the overweight guy (who has seen every horror movie on the planet) actually gets the girl-albeit briefly and only for a quick encounter in what appears to be the nastiest outhouse on the fjord.
Best Line: "I know the difference between a moose and a man."
Tom Doty occasionally emerges from the Lagoon to check his e-mail and to read to children every Wednesday at 10:30am at Borders in Hagerstown. If you'd like to get a message to him, write to: email@example.com.
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