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Daze of My Life/Batter with a Pitch

by Kenneth B. Lourie


I know I’ve been watching a lot of sports on television recently - Major League Baseball’s division and league championships, the World Series, college football on Thursday nights and all day Saturday, and professional football on Sundays, primarily - but it sure seems as if Raphael Palmeiro, the former Texas Rangers’ (and Baltimore Orioles’) first baseman/designated hitter, and four-time MLB All-Star and member of the 500 home run club, has been busy, on tape of course, in his apparent capacity as Viagra’s official spokesperson, replacing the former senator from Kansas, Bob Dole.

Moreover, unless I’m mistaken - and that’s certainly a possibility - while watching these same baseball playoffs and world series, I’ve also noticed Viagra advertisements on those rotating mini-billboards along the stadiums’ interior stands directly behind home plate, perfectly aligned for all those fans like myself viewing the game from the center field camera angle so often utilized in baseball coverage.

I know I must have missed the announcement, but exactly when did the advertising of male enhancement become so mainstream and dare I say, ho hum? Not that I’m a prude or anything, far from it, after all I am a male, but the ubiquitousness of Viagra’s visibility has caught my attention, “not that there’s anything wrong with that,” which I suppose was its marketing plan all along. It appears as if Viagra has authorized a blitzkrieg of sorts and inundated viewers with a steady stream of what Raphael Palmeiro’s doctor “says is right for” him.

And if it’s right for a likely future Hall of Famer, who’s well-spoken, good-looking and physically fit, then it must be good for the vast majority of us average-looking, not-so-fit, nonprofessional athletes who are at home sitting instead of outside participating.

And who among us lay-persons knows or understands the cause for such dissatisfaction, and whether being physically fit or athletic even has any bearing on one’s performance, or lack thereof? Still, if someone we think shouldn’t have a need, or is open and honest enough, and/or maybe paid enough, to admit to, in effect, erectile dysfunction, then who am I to dispute the notion that making news on the diamond doesn’t preclude one from needing assistance off the diamond?

And if a little blue pill, shaped like a diamond, coincidentally enough, can solve a personal problem that affects even star athletes like Raphael Palmeiro, then there should be no stigma or hesitation for little old dysfunctional whomever to step up to the plate and take a swing at solving this problem. At least that’s the theory, I imagine, behind the promotion and prevalence of Viagra’s advertising campaign, appearing so prominently at so many sports venues.

If these players who succeed professionally need some help to succeed personally, so be it. Who among us is immune to such ups and downs in our respective lives? No one, that’s who!

Furthermore, if finely tuned athletes, with top-of-the-line medical care at their disposal, want or perhaps need a little boost to improve the quality of their overall lives, then more power to them. I should be thankful that we live in a country where even though millions of dollars are paid to professional athletes for their prowess on the field, thanks to Viagra’s rather aggressive marketing campaign, there are still dollars available to improve the quality of their fans’ personal lives as well.

Lourie is a regionally syndicated columnist who resides in Burtonsville, MD.

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